from the wisdom of no escape




From The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path to Loving-Kindness

by Pema Chodron


“There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth, that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is. If we’re committed to comfort at any cost, as soon as we come up against the least edge of pain, we’re going to run; we’ll never know what’s beyond that particular barrier or wall or fearful thing.”


“… loving-kindness—maitri—toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s the ground, that’s what we study, that’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.”


I’ve probably read this book four times but have not picked it up in ten years. I believe it’s time for some loving-kindness.


The Wisdom of No Escape / pema chodrom


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1 thought on “from the wisdom of no escape”

  1. Thanks Pam. I have not read this book, but the quote selections are insightful and relevant. It seems that there is so much societal pressure for us to be something, to achieve something, to find ourselves (whatever that means!) Often, in the process, we are not able to accept who we are (good or bad) and this makes it even harder as we try to move forward. We’re so fearful of discomforts and obstacles, but these seem to form and develop our evolving selves.


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