freak out day



So, not a good start to my day. First was the critique from my mentor/editor on my latest writing project—which in itself is cause for chain smoking. Second, I mistakenly looked at the hurricane forecast and Irma, as of today, is headed straight for the Keys. Now I understand that this storm is currently far from Florida and can change paths at any given time—but that doesn’t change the information that’s available today—hence, my freaking out.

We all have different coping mechanisms. The healthiest of us would probably run or bike or burn up the angst in some productive way. The less healthy may have a routine that is similar to mine which involves smoking pot, cigarettes, walking in circles, opening the refrigerator 500 times, reversing circles, etc., etc. I can’t go back to the critique and tackle all the things I need to tackle in my work—good Lord, my brain would probably burst. I’ve considered cleaning my gutters and looking at the hurricane shutters (as if I would have any idea as to how to install them) but that requires a focused energy and focusing on anything is completely out of reach right now. I’m well provisioned and have already put in 2 requests for a ride out of town if needed so I guess there’s nothing more I can do at this time. Except worry. And write about it.

Every day is precious. Look at the Harvey victims. One day you’re standing in line at Burger King and the next day you’re swimming for your life. Even the freak out days are precious. They make you aware of a rapidly beating and vibrant heart. They challenge and scare and exhaust you, but they rattle your brains and bones and shape you in a way that is different than the day before. That said, I know there are plenty of positive remarks in my review that will spur me on when I’m ready to work, and I don’t know that I’ll clean the gutters today, but I’m feeling better.




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