eleven minutes

 

blue black room

 

from Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes

“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

When I experienced humiliation and total submission, I was free. I don’t know if I’m ill, if it was all a dream, or if it only happens once. I know that I can perfectly well live without it, but I would like to do it again, to repeat the experience, to go still further.

I was a bit frightened by the pain, but it wasn’t as bad as the humiliation, and it was just a pretext. When I had my first orgasm in many months, despite all the many men I’ve been with and the many different things they’ve done with my body, I felt—is this possible?—closer to God. I remembered what he said about how the flagellants, in offering up their pain for the salvation of humanity, found pleasure. I didn’t want to save humanity, or him or me; I was just there.

The art of sex is the art of controlled abandon.”

 

photo credit: etsy.com / blue black room

 

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