critter update





palm rat



I’ve not wanted to post a critter update for fear that some might think I’m making this all up—I am not. The number of rodents/pests/reptiles, etc. in Key West is ridiculous. For those who are shopping for a home, now at hurricane sale prices, buyer beware—it’s a frickin’ jungle down here.

There was recently a large, decapitated iguana on my sidewalk. Really, cat? I had to bleach the stench out of the bricks. There was also a monstrously, large iguana sitting on a low hanging branch, two houses away. And not long after seeing that bastard, while sitting on my candlelit porch, a nasty looking, rather plump opossum walked through the garden, 4 feet in front of me. “Get the hell outta here and fuck you,” I barked at the possum, “Fuck you, too,” he replied. I didn’t freak but I did go inside, semi-conditioned, I suppose. My handy man told me there’s a dead palm rat lying on a wide leaf in one of my tress and heaven only knows why he didn’t get rid of it. I had already removed one dead rat, his turn. Geeez…

And now there’s a bird invasion. Key West does not have a large bird population, due (I believe) to the fact that there are few bugs, little food—a result of aggressive mosquito control (Apparently, they are giant cock roaches here. They must be waiting for just the right moment to send me over the edge). But… Irma actually blew beautiful warblers and other bird varieties from Cuba into Key West. These guys aren’t missing the bugs at all and feasting on the berries that drop from my Christmas Palms. Dumb as can be. I saw the cat nail one in a split second, and 2 have flown into my house. The one that came inside yesterday couldn’t find his way out without some help from that handy man, the same who left the rat behind.

All true. I never expected this, I never experienced this in any other home I’ve lived in. You may not like what I’m about to say but too bad. I’m taking pellet gun lessons from my neighbor next week.


photo credit: catseye pest control


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